SEVEN STEPS TO COMMUNICATE RESPONSIBLY

1. COMMIT TO USING THE RESPONSIBILITY COMMUNICATION PROCESS. Accept that...your feelings are your feelings, and your feelings are your sole responsibility to heal. When someone upsets you, realize that they may have stepped on your toe, but if your toe still hurts after an hour or so, it hurts because it was already infected. In this case, the source of your pain is rooted in your personal history, not in your partner's less than perfect behavior.

2. HEAL FIRST...PROBLEM SOLVE LAST. To communicate responsibly you need to heal, feel safe, hug and laugh first...then problem solve. When you feel safe it makes it much easier to communicate because you are centered in Truth and you do not need to use your ego defenses because you already feel safe. Remember to refer to the Feelings Chart to help you identify what you are really feeling. If you try to problem solve first, your mind will use "thinking" as a way to distract you from feeling what you are really feeling.

3. OBJECTIVELY OWN YOUR FEELINGS. Always start by identifying and owning that your feelings are your feelings and by using First Party Communication when ever possible..."I need your help in understanding my feelings when....(event) happened. Are you willing to help me understand why I'm feeling what I'm feeling?" Objectively describe what happened without judgment or blame using "I feel" statements.

4. IDENTIFY AND SHARE YOUR FEELINGS AND OBSERVATIONS. Stay conscious to the fact that your thoughts are creating your feelings. If your partner's action trigger pain in you, your Mind must be pulling up information from your memory files...your history. This takes away from the present moment, which is your source of power. Your feelings are being re-created from painful experiences that can go as far back as childhood. That's why you may find yourself asking: "Why is this happening to me....AGAIN?"

5. FOLLOW YOUR FEELINGS TO THEIR SOURCE. Use these Self-mastery Processes, or any other method that you know of, that will help you surface the root cause of your unpleasant feelings. Remember that your mind will use ego defenses in an attempt to minimize your pain.

6. SET AN APPOINTMENT. If it is not the appropriate time or place to use responsibility communication, set an appointment for when and where you can calmly and safely share your FEELINGS. The benefit of setting an appointment is that it will allow you time to center yourself. You'll need to be emotionally calm so that you can maturely identify, understand, and rationally share the real cause of your uncomfortable feelings.

7. LEARN THE EIGHT HELPFUL HINTS FOR SPIRITUAL COMMUNICATIONS. They will help you find the thing, behind the thing, behind the thing, why you are feeling the way you are feeling. Responsibility communication will help you to find the source of your emotional pain. Remember that the pain you are feeling is being stimulated by your partner in the PRESENT, but is usually manifesting from an old relationship from your PAST.

Establishing a healthy self-image for your child

Self-image is what your children project to others because of what they believe and how they feel about themselves. Your children's Self-image equals their attitude, which equals their behavior, which equals their performance, which equals their overall results in life. Your child's Self-image was formed by the time they were pre-schooler's. It is primarily the result of the way that they were treated by you and their other caretakers. It's important to remember that your child's inner Self-picture (Self-image) was developed very, very early in life.

The importance of investing your time to help develop your child's positive Self-image cannot be overstressed. Your children's Self-image is the most important factor in their happiness and overall spiritual fulfillment.

When a child loves him Self, and is taught how to Self-parent him Self, there are literally no obstacles to fulfilling his or her Self-mastery potential. If your children are raised to believe that the world is good, safe place, they will have a tremendous advantage over children who are afraid, insecure and negative. As you begin to implement the seven pieces of Self-parenting with your children they will begin to have an expectation of happiness and serenity, rather than being judgmental of or intimidated by others. They will develop the emotional maturity and inner Self-confidence that is needed to be well-grounded risk takers. It's no exaggeration to say that a strong positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in life.

Spiritual Parenting

Parents must provide not only outer warmth for their child but also inner warmth. They must create an atmosphere with a sense of security in which the child feels love and acceptance.

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